Koh Samui Hotels » Samui Articles » Thai Etiquette
If you believe half the travel guides that have been written about Thailand, then you could be excused for thinking Thai etiquette is a potential minefield, just waiting to trip up the unwary holidaymaker. Although Thai manners are quite complex, most Thai people understand that “farang†meaning westerners, are not Thai and therefore they are extremely forgiving of any social gaffs we may accidentally make. Best advice is to be polite, and not worry too much about local social customs. However, if you would like to know a little more about Thai etiquette and manners, then read on.
Thai Society and Social Standing
When two Thai folks meet for the first time, within seconds they will have both established who is higher in social standing. This simple thing is the core foundation of Thai manners. In Thailand, one person will often attach a prefix to another person’s name when addressing them and this prefix is defined by who has the higher in social standing. For example, two young men meet for the first time, they will judge each other, and one will decide that the other is more senior. If the more senior person is named John, then he becomes Pi John, where Pi means older brother (that’s the closest translation into English, it is more subtle than this), and the other will have the prefix Nong, meaning younger brother (again loosely). This simple judging of social standing forms the backbone of Thai manners.
Loss of Face
Lots of things go towards attributing weight towards ones social standing within Thai society; it is not as simple as age, affluence and wealth. It is entirely possible for a rich and affluent person to end up much further down the social ladder than they should be, simply due to “losing faceâ€. This is quite a complex subject; the closest comparison to western culture would be that loss of face is equal to embarrassment. Probably the easiest thing to do is a give an example. Imagine those same two young men again, and now imagine they are sharing an evening drinking Thai Whiskey together. Sometime during the evening Pi John (the more senior) gets drunk and starts to insult the other. This will always result in a loss of face for Pi John, as he has taken advantage of somebody lower down the social scale. If he makes this a regular thing, and people come to learn of it, he will eventually lose so much face he will lose social standing.
When to Wai?
Thai people Wai all the time. A wai is the pressing together of hands in front of the face as if praying, and bowing slightly. Who gives who a wai is entirely based upon social standing; more junior people will always wai more senior. Often the senior person will wai back, but the junior person is expected to initiate this small ritual. As a westerner, if you want to make sure you do not make any mistakes, then do not wai anybody. Westerners are not really expected to wai, unless you happen to be a Buddhist, as the wai is intended to please Buddha, not the recipient.
Who Pays?
One of the most often heard gripes from long term expat residents of Thailand, is that they always end up paying when in a restaurant or bar when accompanied by Thai guests. This complaint stems from pure ignorance of Thai manners. In Thai society, the most senior member of the party always pays. As most westerners are usually more wealthy or affluent than almost every Thai they meet, they are expected to pay. If you stay in Thailand long enough, you will eventually socialize with somebody of significantly higher social standing, and they will insist that you do not pay.
The etiquette is a broad subject, and one which this short article cannot due proper justice too, although above you will have read some of the core aspects of Thai manners which are almost always overlooked by the guide books.
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